Breaking Dawn or Where were the Spice Girls when Bella grew up?

Why am I writing about Twilight? I have a cold. A medium to bad one. As usual, when I’m sick, I can’t work, I can’t write, and I get all these weird ideas. Oh, and how else am I supposed to draw traffic to the blog? :)

So Twilight… well, it’s called Breaking Dawn these days, but it’s the same thing. I can’t find the mini-review I wrote about the first movie when it came out, so maybe I never posted it. Anyway, it was merely one paragraph long, no loss there. Besides, this isn’t supposed to be a review of the books or the movies, I have better things to do than that.

I just want to write some thoughts on Bella. *gasps* Yep, not Edward. Movie Edward looks nothing like the Edward I imagined while reading the books *embarrassed smile* so there’s no comparison there. All I’m saying is that my Edward looked less creepy and less clown-like chalk-white than Robert Pattinson does in most of the scenes. This is the advantage of reading books, you can imagine anything you want. With movies, you’re stuck watching images meant to give you nightmares later on during the night. That’s why I prefer books, but back to the point.

Bella. I’ll skip over the part where I should complain about the mannerism used by Kristen Stewart to portray Bella. She’s usually a good actress, but all she succeeds here is to make Bella even more annoying than she is in the books. No, I’m going to complain about the way Bella thinks. You see, Bella is a coward. Even worse, she’s a selfish, stubborn coward. She doesn’t want to learn, go to college, expand her horizon, she doesn’t want to work, have a family, a life. She has no aspirations for herself. The world moves around her, but she makes no impact on it. It’s like she doesn’t even exists.

She thinks she wants Edward, but what she really needs is a fairy godmother, who can snap her fingers and make her instantly beautiful, physically perfect, and a good match for her prince without any effort from her part whatsoever. She takes the easy route and jumps directly to the accomplished stage. And even then she shows no sign of self improvement, she still wants just one thing: to be with Edward.

I dread to think what such a mother’s influence could do to that poor child. Child protection should look into that, both parents are completely off the rails. They should both undergo a decade or two of therapy before having anyone entrusted into their care. Come to think of it, I’m not sure Bella should even be legally allowed to get married considering how immature she is. Ah, no worries, no one in their right mind would want to marry her in the real world… except for a controlling freak who can’t get anyone better. So she’s screwed either way. Do we really care? I think not.

Personally, I still have some hope left for her character to get interesting in part 2 of Breaking Dawn, and get some cool action scenes at least, but given how long and tedious the previous movies have been so far I better not hold my breath.

OK, end of rant. Send in the hate mail. It will make my recovery more entertaining. Tee-hee!